Fishy Situation
by loveoutloud3
Summary: One weird looking fish changes Sanji's life forever by giving him the biggest surprise of his life. (collab with Sunny-Donna)
1. Chapter 1

Title: Fishy Situations

Disclaimer: Sunny-Donna and I don't own anything involving One Piece or any of its characters. We only own the plot

Pre-time skip

Post Thriller Bark Arc

This is a collab with Sunny-Donna

Chapter One:

He'd been in the coma for two days. Two fucking days! Sanji stared at the limp, prone form of the swordsman, as he lay in the infirmary bed, wrapped up in as many white bandages as Chopper could find, and covered by the thickest cotton sheet that had been dragged out of that boat-castle. He just couldn't reconcile with the fact that it was Zoro, and he was in a _coma_. How could Zoro- _Zoro_- of all people be in a coma for two days? Just what had happened after he'd been knocked out?

And then the anger came back.

How _dare_ Zoro knock him out? How _dare_ he take the blow for Sanji? How_ dare _he do anything for Sanji and land in a goddamned coma? And then the guilt resurfaced and increased as he stared at the stunningly limp form.

A fucking coma.

It was hard for Sanji to even take a glance at the swordsman with all the bandages that covered his body. The cook refused to admit that he was worried about the other man. The entire crew took turns making sure someone was there when Zoro would awaken.

Robin and Nami made their presences known every few hours, his angels that they were, so caring and perfect. Usopp and Franky alternated spending nights, but neither were much for being there during the day, having repairs to make and adjustments to do to boats for the other captives of Thriller Bark. Chopper was practically camped out in the infirmary, until Sanji talked him into checking on his other patients. Luffy after all, had been pretty roughed up. Said Captain made his presence known sporadically, always cheerful and optimistic and so fucking annoying because Zoro was in a coma and why was nobody else seeing the issue here? Not that he cared. Nope. Not at all. Because really, it was Zoro's fault. His entire fault. He should have just let Sanji take the fucking blow and be done with it.

That fucking swordsman just had to be so damn stubborn. He just had to play hero, and it had been bothering Sanji ever since. The cook wanted to kick the unconscious man out of the bed, and yell at him for taking the hit. Sanji pulled up a chair, moved it close to the bed, and sat next to Zoro.

"Damn shitty-swordsman...I hate seeing you like this, but you should have let me take that hit..." Sanji mumbled irritably as he withdrew the urge to light a cigarette. Chopper had warned him about smoke fume in the infirmary and how it could be bad for Zoro's health. Fucking idiot. Now he couldn't even have a smoke.

"This is what you've done. Can't even smoke," muttered Sanji, "And you're taking forever to wake up. What the hell's wrong with you? Don't tell me you can't-

He stopped. No. This wasn't something he could mock Zoro for. Shit. Sanji's hands went into his hair, and he resisted the urge to mess it up. Just barely. The last thing he needed was his appearance to be even more disheveled than the wrinkled shirt, and slightly scuffed up shoes.

Sanji looked closely at Zoro's face. "I just hope you don't wake up to see me like this...I feel so weak." He mumbled towards the other man. His eyes traced the wrapped bandages across the swordsman's body, accidentally allowing more guilt to pile on. Sanji felt sorry for Zoro, and he'd rather be in the other's position if it meant the moss head would be okay.

A small smile formed on Sanji's face as his hand subconsciously traced the arms of the man who saved his life, but is now in a coma.

"Wake up already marimo..." Sanji said in a hushed tone before whispering, "I'm worried about you...and I-I miss you." The cook cursed himself out mentally as he felt a blush coming onto his cheeks.

"I- I have no idea why- I mean, if anything I should probably be happy that you're not… But I'm not. It's like, you're always sleeping anyways because you're just so fucking lazy, but fuck. This really isn't the same, now is it?" asked Sanji to the limp form, that really had no answers. He gave a harsh bark of laughter, not really sure what it was for, just that he felt a little insane.

Immediately he began readjusting Zoro's blanket, wondering if the green-haired man could hear him. Probably not. His hand went to Zoro's head, checking his temperature for a fever. Chopper warned that a fever was the last thing Zoro needed right now, and Sanji was always checking for that. It just happened that he'd pause, let his hand run through Zoro's short green spikes that were softer than they looked.

"You look really fucking weird when you're not trying to bleed yourself by training," continued Sanji softly, "And fuck- If you die, I swear on the sea that I'll kill you. I will murder you if you die and leave the crew- us- your nakama… Just don't die. They can't handle it. Luffy will- He'll break. And Chopper and Usopp, they're just kids. Robin-chan's lived a hard enough life without your death added to it, and Nami-swan shouldn't have to waste her precious tears on a marimo like you. Franky'll miss you, probably sing a song and I really don't want to hear that. I really don't want you to die. I- I can't- Don't die on me marimo. I- I need you here too."

Eyes slowly blinked open, and the cook was the first thing in the line of vision. Zoro never felt or noticed Sanji running those long, slim fingers through the mess of green hair belonging to his head.

"Cook? What are you doing here?" The swordsman said softly, his voice raspy from lack of fluid. The voice startled Sanji right out of the chair.

"M-Marimo?! You're awake! I-uh- I mean- do you need anything?" Sanji said nervously, trying to keep his cool in front of Zoro.

"Something to eat would be good...I'm starving." Zoro barely asked for something to eat. Sanji simply nodded as he headed towards the kitchen, passing Chopper in the process.

"Oi Chopper...the marimo just woke up."

"Zoro's awake?! He needs a doctor! Someone call a doctor!" cried Chopper, slumping up from his desk, already heading into panic mode as he glanced around the infirmary, that really looked like a whirlpool had been through it, sloshing bandages and pillows around in every direction.

"That's you," said Sanji evenly, ignoring the burn in his cheeks and in his ears and neck. Fuck he was probably redder than Nami-swan's hair at this point. Fuck if the swordsman had heard anything-

"Right!" said Chopper shakily, and Sanji escaped before Chopper could investigate his red-face and question him about it. The cook watched the little reindeer rush toward Zoro, and he just lit a much needed cigarette. He took a long drag from the cancer sticks, as the marimo called them, and began to prepare something soft and easy to digest for the recovering swordsman.

(Line Break)

"Fuck...I-I can't get rid of that damned feeling. What if he- I shouldn't worry too much...right?" Sanji mumbled to himself as he prepared and cooked fresh soup for Zoro.

The kitchen reflected Sanji's state of mind. Its usual pristine condition had been shaken up ever since Zoro's injury. The tools were still soaking in the sink, and wouldn't be washed until Sanji had confirmed Zoro was alright. The fridge was locked, but vegetables and fruits and the pantry were all open, with spices laying around, abandoned after the prep work. Usually he came in during the night, when Franky or Usopp stayed with Zoro, and cleaned up and took his smoke. But now, now it was in that messy state between lunch and dinner and looking as ruffled as Sanji felt.

Sanji served the hot soup into a large bowl, and made his way towards the infirmary. _Why can't I focus on anything? What is wrong with me?_ He thought as he stepped inside the infirmary, and nearly dropped the soup. There was the said swordsman sitting on the infirmary bed shirtless.

This was the first time Sanji had taken a good look at Zoro's monstrous upper-body. The muscles complimented the moss-head's body, not too bulky, and not too thin like the blonde. Usually it was covered by a white shirt, but Chopper had been cleaning off the bandages and asides from the deep, bloody cuts and stitches, there was something sensual about Zoro awake, shirtless, and alive. Maybe it was the memory of Zoro's near death, but Sanji's eyes trailed over Zoro's strong, broad shoulders, the pecs of his torso, the flex of muscle in his arm, the gold of his earrings, glinting in the light and practically shining alongside the bronzed muscle.

The cook felt his face heat up again, his cheeks and ears bright red once again. He quickly placed the bowl on Chopper's desk at the entrance of the infirmary, and ran out like his life depended on it.

(Line Break)

Chopper was probably the only doctor Zoro could stand allowing near him. He was patient, calm, and wasn't above restraining Zoro if he got too annoying. Most doctors would try, but Zoro would cut them before they could. Chopper would just make big eyes and start hyperventilating, and Zoro had no choice but to give in.

"You had major blood loss," lectured Chopper, "I already have two IV's hooked up, one transporting nutrients, the other blood. It's why you're still anemic. You'll probably be tired and lethargic for the next day or two, which isn't actually normal, but with your healing, that _is_ normal, so don't try and get up to train! And a lot of the internal wounds are still healing, so don't move around too much, or you'll tear the stitches. It's worse if you tear the internal ones because then I have to go in and fix them!"

"How- long?" questioned Zoro, pausing to cough up some blood. That was new.

"Until your discharge doesn't have blood in it you're confined to bed rest! Your kidneys took major damage! You're lucky I didn't need to remove any organs!" said Chopper firmly, and Zoro glowered at the doctor, who didn't flinch, and then at his body. How dare it betray him? More training required to strengthen his organs then.

"But your samples were mostly clear the other day," rambled Chopper, "Not that I'm giving you any lee-way! Anyways, we'll need to change your bandages now that you're awake."

As Chopper continued to lecture about the medical terms, Zoro tuned out, trying to remember the details. It was all still hazy. He remembered the cook being stubborn and trying to take the blow. Like he'd ever let that happen. He remembered knocking him out. Then pain. Lots and lots of pain. He shifted uneasily at that memory.

There was a clatter at the doorway, and both doctor and swordsman turned to see a bowl of soup sitting on Chopper's desk and the cook disappearing into the background. Zoro frowned, trying to recall something important. He'd heard the cook talking- hadn't he? There was something there but he was just too tired to think straight. And the soup smelled good and Chopper was rambling. Maybe later than.

(Line Break)

Sanji slammed the door to the galley and sat in the corner of his domain with all the lights off for quite some time, trying to adjust to the new sensations and the memory of Zoro- unconscious- alive- strong- alive- that bombarded his mind. His breathing became rapid, his heart beat sped up, and his face was redder than it had been before. _I shouldn't be like this...it's just the fucking marimo! What if he actually heard what I said?! Oh shit..._ The cook reached into his jacket for a much needed cigarette, only to be disappointed when the pack was empty.

From the door connecting to the infirmary, Sanji could hear Zoro's voice. It sounded like the swordsman was trying to remember something. Or at least, talking out loud to himself. He couldn't quite hear him, but Sanji stilled immediately.

Zoro. Remembering. Not good.

He banged the door to the infirmary open, and with a lazy sort of drawl, entered to ask, "How was the soup?"

Zoro turned to see the cook for the first time since he'd woken up. Luffy and Usopp and Franky had just left, apparently after singing the song Franky had composed out of his joy at seeing Zoro alive and congratulating him. It was such a relief to see Luffy alive, to know that the Shichibukai had stuck by his promise, that Zoro wasn't all that bothered by the interruption, or Nami's later quick visit and promise not to charge him for using so much of their medical supplies. Robin had been much more straightforward and twistedly morbid as she mentioned how it would have been a pity if he died, considering the shadow man was gone and they'd have had to burn his body up into ash to prevent it from being abused by Gecko Moria.

"Shit," said Zoro casually, glancing over at the cook, the last person to visit him, who busied himself by grabbing the bowl and placing Zoro's medicine in front of him.

"Yeah right," said Sanji, snorting as Zoro swallowed the pills and water easily.

The cook looked strange. He couldn't quite identify it, but the memory of the cook offering his life for Zoro's still stung. Sanji looked thinner than Zoro remembered, with paler skin than his usual creamy white, and his shirt ruffled, the buttons open revealing a delicious expanse of thin neck, and rising up because it was untucked to reveal a lean, strong waist. His legs were sheathed by black pants, that looked worn. The best part was his hair, his messy blonde hair, which looked as though he'd rushed to run his hand through it.

Different from what he remembered.

Very different.

_Is something wrong with the cook? He looks different..._ Zoro thought to himself as he accidentally found himself staring at Sanji's body. Sanji felt the stare, those eyes marked his messy appearance. The swordsman's eyes met with the others, and it seemed like fireworks went off. The cook looked away quickly with a blush across his face.

_This can't be happening...I think I'm feeling things for- No! I won't say it! _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Numerous amounts of different aromas filled the deck as Sanji prepared and cooked a feast. Luffy requested a feast to celebrate everyone making a full recovery from the battle on Thriller Bark. Now that Brook had become an official member of the crew, it only added onto the list of reasons why Luffy wanted to have a party.

_The shit cook is going to overdo it again..._ Zoro thought to himself as he sat outside the galley door, and listened to the blonde work himself to death.

He leaned against the wall, hearing the familiar clatter of pots and pans, spoons to soup, and the wafting smell of meat and herbs shift through the air. He could practically picture the cook at work.

Zoro could practically see the grace in the cook's every moment. The smoothness in Sanji's steps as he chopped, prepared, and cooked the feast. _Why am I thinking about the shitty cook? _The swordsman wanted to go inside the galley and watch the other man up close.

"Oi Zoro!" Sanji opened the door and called out to the moss-head.

"What it is curly brow?"

"I need an extra pair of hands to carry this big ass fish."

"Got it," said Zoro, grabbing the monstrous fish from the cook, loading it into his arms.

It was the most intriguing fish he'd ever seen, with a gold speckled body, and bright, red fishy lips. Its fins were accented by green highlights, and its belly was blue. What really made the fish creepy was its eyes. Pure white, no iris, no pupil, nothing but whiteness. It was disconcerting, and made Zoro look away. Instead, he hoisted the fish, which was about the size of his entire leg, over his shoulder and followed Sanji towards the storage area.

"What the fuck is this? Are we actually going to eat it?" asked Zoro, staring at the monstrosity.

"Not today," said the cook with a shrug, as he lit up a cigarette now that he was away from his precious kitchen and the cooking food, "I'm putting it in storage for a rainy day when I can experiment with its meat. The kids caught it, so I thought I'd save it for our crew, instead of feeding all of Thriller Bark with that. Besides, we've got a ton of meat down here that needs to be used up before we set sail or it'll spoil."

"Right," said Zoro with a nod, and then he let the conversation die.

Neither really had anything to say, but there was something in the air. Zoro found his eyes drawn constantly to the cook, a nagging feeling in his mind; like he had missed an important detail and it made him want to scrutiny the cook- or shake him- until he figured out what was so different this time. What had changed?

He needed more.

Sanji, for his part, was ignoring the swordsman entirely, focusing solely ahead. He could feel Zoro's dark brown eyes on his body, and it sent a shiver down his spine. He couldn't help but feel awkward, and he was adjusting his collar continuously. He refused to meet Zoro's eyes, lest he give away something of what he'd been thinking ever since the swordsman had woken up. If he let the swordsman know what he was thinking.

Zoro would hate him.

"Here we are," said the cook, swinging the door to the storage cellar open and heading to the large, storage freezer. With a strong kick, he opened the door, and then led Zoro in. He lifted the fish from Zoro's arms, and heaved to place it on the shelf.

Zoro caught himself staring at Sanji's back as it arched to lift the fish, and it was mesmerizing, the way his legs flexed, his bum jutted out- and no way was he thinking like that about his nakama. Instead, Zoro grunted and came behind Sanji, not noticing that Sanji had frozen as he hefted the fish up onto the shelf with his arms, trapping Sanji between his body and the shelves of the freezer.

Sanji for his part was frozen solid like the fish in the freezer around him. He could practically feel the heat from Zoro's perpetually warm body, absorbing him, enveloping him. The smell of steel and sake assaulted his senses. He was very still, trying hard not to shiver at the fact that Zoro could wrap himself around Sanji, and taking comfort in that his legs were stronger, and that Zoro couldn't make out the redness of his cheeks, neck and ears. The cigarette dangled limply in his mouth.

Zoro's face became bright red as a deep blush spread as he realized where his lower region was pressed against. A bulge was threatening to form as it was pressed against the perfection of the blonde's butt. Sanji quickly tried to get past the swordsman while attempting to prevent the other from seeing the blush on his face.

"Oi Marimo, move out of my way!"

"Cook, we need to talk! It's important! While I was in a coma, I heard your voice but can't remember what you said. Tell me what you said." Zoro almost threatened.

"Like hell I'll tell you!" Sanji realized what he just said and quickly looked away.

"Why not?" asked Zoro, frowning and eyes dark with annoyance and anger.

"You- Fuck off!" came the inarticulate reply, and Sanji stormed off back to the kitchen, flushing all the while as Zoro glared at his retreating form.

(Line Break)

That evening, the feast was well prepared and aligning the large deck of Thriller Bark. Many of the pirates and sailors who'd been trapped here had already left. Brook had finished his rendition of Bink's Sake, and Zoro was leaning back, watching the feast slow down as people either began to sleep, or moved on with lovers to private corners, or headed off to secure the next day's ships to travel out.

Beside him was the annoying presence of one of the Thriller Bark victims, a delightfully annoying brunette woman. He had forgotten her name, and she was absolutely boring as she tried to ply him with booze and compliments on his muscle and bravery while simultaneously shaking her chest in front of his eyes. At least her intention was obvious. He had no clue what to do about his sudden popularity with the pirates and sailors who were lolling around him and mimicking his actions. It was disconcerting, but not wholly a nuisance as the woman.

Still though, the sake was good, and he wasn't about to cause a scene when everyone was having fun. Eventually the woman would catch someone else's eye and disappear. They usually did if they were ignored a little while.

The one person Zoro wanted to pay attention to him was too busy flirting with the entire female species on Thriller Bark. Not that he _wanted_ that attention from the cook. The swordsman tried to drink his confusion away; drown out the thoughts of things he wanted to do to Sanji in a private area.

_Holy shit what am I thinking?! I can't be in- No! I refuse to say that word until I can figure out these damned feelings...!_

The moss-head's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Sanji's voice.

"Oi shit head! You still hungry? I saved you some food before our bottomless pit of a captain ate it all." Sanji said with his traditional smirk which Zoro won't admit how sexy it looked on him.

Sanji, for his part, was trying his damned hardest not to be jealous. How could Zoro not notice the lovely woman beside him, with graceful limbs, a pale complexion (most likely from lack of sun exposure) and dark, lustrous curls that framed her thin, long face and her delicate pink pout. Not to mention her body. Her body was an art-form of sinuous curves and long limbs. How could Zoro not notice her?

Zoro grunted in response, as the woman whose name he'd already forgotten turned her attention to Sanji and very sweetly replied, "Oh! You cooked everything tonight? I loved it! It was so delicious, but Zoro hardly ate anything when we were sharing a plate. He's so fond of drinking." Her eyes batted at him, the last bit of her sentence a swoon.

Sanji's heart thudded at that, and he felt a bit distraught. Zoro didn't enjoy the food? Worse. Zoro had shared a plate with that woman? That woman who was tall and built like an Amazon, who had large hips and breasts that Sanji was drinking in greedily, as the woman shifted closer to Zoro, obviously fawning. Sanji's expression dropped, and he didn't know what to say.

Of course Zoro had a type, or a woman he was attracted to. How could he not? And apparently he only went for the most divine specimen in the seas, the ones that looked strong and beautiful all at once, with eyes that gleamed like the pale blue of the sky and freckles dotting along her every nose and she looked nothing like Sanji who was too lean to ever be considered curvy like this woman and his muscles not as impressive as this Amazon's (though is leg muscles probably left a lot for her to desire) and his hair was blonde and his eyes too dark and-

"You're annoying," said Zoro with a bored expression, and Sanji's jaw dropped. How dare Zoro treat a woman like that?!

"Bastard! Take that back and apologize to the lady!" said Sanji, swinging his leg up to kick at Zoro, as the woman jumped backwards.

Zoro grinned, and from beside him the sword- Yubashiri- was unsheathed, already up and blocking Sanji's leg. Sanji was fast, second leg coming to aim at Zoro's head as he yelled, "Apologize!"

Zoro ignored him, finally glad for an excuse to engage with the blonde and fight and not be restrained due to his 'injuries' and it was exciting because Sanji had that flush of exertion on his face and god Zoro wanted to trace just exactly where Sanji's flush went-

Zoro backed away immediately at that thought, allowing Sanji to get a good kick in at his torso. The woman had left the vicinity as soon as the two got started. Sanji pulled back at Zoro's studden stiffness, looking worried as he asked, "Are you okay? Did I aggravate a wound?"

"Fuck off cook," said Zoro stubbornly, and the bottle of sake was picked back up as he walked away to try and piece together just what exactly it meant that he wanted to see Sanji out of his clothes and trying to erase the picture of a very pale neck and shoulders with a red flush, and the taut, muscled chest arching below him.

(Line Break)

Sanji was angry and frustrated. Zoro had left him behind after flirting with that women and not eating his food and he was probably not even aware that Sanji had been thinking of him. These thoughts were exhausting.

"Tired?" asked one of the sailors; Sanji remembered seeing him with Lola's crew. He was tall, like Zoro, and broad-shouldered and muscular- like Zoro, but he lacked the bronze tone, he was too dark, and his hair was buzzed short and black. His earrings were multiple, seven or eight, all across both ears. But he wasn't ugly, despite the slightly hooked nose. There was something charismatic there.

"Somewhat," said Sanji with a nod, as he slumped down to the ground, tired from cooking, and from thinking about Zoro, and running after his crew and just- everything.

"Yeah," said the man with a nod, "I get the feeling. I'm the chef for Rolling Pirates. It can get pretty hard. But you're cooking is amazing. How'd you make three pigs in less than six hours alongside everything else?"

"I use shortened recipes when I'm making feasts, quick ones that I can cook easy," replied Sanji, easing into the flow of conversation. It was easy talking to people, especially about cooking.

The other chef seemed to be eager to listen to all of Sanji's tips and advice for cooking feasts. The blonde kept talking, trying really hard not to think of the swordsman right now.

"So you and that green-haired guy?" The other chef questioned, "I can tell you're hiding something from him. It's not good to hide things from your nakama."

"I'M NOT HIDING SHIT! I-I just don't know what to feel or think right now…just leave me alone…" Sanji said before storming off to help clean up the mess from the feast he had cooked for. The other chef stood in place in awe at the blonde cook's words. _So he does like that green-haired guy...interesting… _

Meanwhile, Zoro had glimpsed Sanji with the other man, talking in low tones, getting along. It was striking, to see Sanji with another man at these kind of things. He was always surrounded by women, and Zoro had gotten used to it. A man though, that was different. That wasn't right.

Zoro turned and left, determined not to think about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

The ship had set sail from Thriller Bark two days ago. Zoro and Sanji were resolutely ignoring each other, which wasn't strange since with the addition of Brook, the crew was going through regular growing pains, as the crew reordered themselves. Brook, however, was not a loud or difficult person, and it wasn't hard to get used to his presence.

Zoro had devoted himself to training. Everyone assumed it was a result of his loss at Thriller Bark. Zoro said nothing to correct them. After all, it was a part of the reason. It had nothing to do with the silky golden hair he dreamed he was tugging late at night, the soft gasps and groans from pink lips that wrapped around his cock like they would a cigarette-

Not at all.

Sanji barricaded himself in the kitchen, preparing and cooking more snacks and meals than usual. Trying out new recipes, serving drinks to the lovely ladies on the ship, and kicking a certain rubber captain out of the kitchen every now and then. He constantly tried to block out the thoughts of green hair and perfectly tanned skin. The feel as Zoro's arms touched, lingered, caressed over his legs, worshipping them like he did his swords... Feeling that tongue wrapping around his dick, the powerful organ writhing-

Forgetting all about that side of him.

Luffy had noticed the serious change between his two shipmates after the first day they departed from Thriller Bark. As Captain, he decided to do something about it. He was used to the fighting and the insults, but the silence between the swordsman and cook was unbearable. Zoro and Sanji were no fun like that at all. The rubber Captain climbed up into the crow's nest to pay his first mate a visit.

"Oi Zoro, did something happen between you and Sanji? It's strange not seeing you two together arguing about something, and I'm worried about you guys. You're my nakama."

Zoro had been training at the time of Luffy's entry. He was doing his push-ups, shirtless. On his back was some stacks of wood he'd borrowed from Franky. It wasn't the most ideal set of additional weights, but it was enough to aid in his training. Luffy's interruption he paid no mind to, though he scowled when Luffy began to talk. Usually the Captain wasn't one for confrontation. For some reason, he had no problem with confronting_ Zoro_. It was too bad that the captain wasn't out to attack him, Zoro preferred fights like Whiskey Peak over heart to hearts.

"Luffy, nothing happened between the cook and me," Zoro replied while keeping his head down to avoid Luffy seeing the redness slipping on his face. He still remembered how the cook's body felt pressed against his own body in the freezer the other day; how he wanted more to happen, "It's not about _him_._._."

"What do you mean? Who's it about? Why have you been so quiet?" The rubberman questioned as he sat in front of the swordsman, who continued to do his push-ups, acting for all the world as though this was a perfectly normal thing.

"I- It's not like that. See, I have these..._thoughts_ about- doesn't matter who it is, but these _thoughts_ won't go away...they only get stronger, and it's about winning- not about anything else- and it's a distraction that I can't afford-."

"Shishishi, is that all? You're in love with Sanji, aren't you Zoro?"

"I never said that!" Zoro said defensively, snapping his head up and pausing for a minute, which only confirmed Luffy's words, "Besides it doesn't matter anyways. I don't have time for the shitty cook."

Luffy frowned, and stared at Zoro curiously. Zoro shifted uneasily, not liking that look. The rubber-boy shifted, sitting cross-legged in front of Zoro with a thoughtful expression, who returned to doing push-ups, sweat curling down his shirtless torso. Luffy finally grinned.

"Of course you have time! We're on a ship Zoro," said Luffy earnestly, "And Sanji likes you too! All you have to do is tell him and then we can celebrate with meat!"

_Tell him? Tch, I can't do that...can I? He couldn't love another man, but even if he did he wouldn't love me...Wait a minute- He likes me?!_

Zoro stared blankly at Luffy, trying to process those thoughts and all that came out was a garbled, "Hng?"

"He likes you lots! Why do you think he hovered by your bedside and even made sure to save meat for you?" asked Luffy seriously, his brown eyes calm and his expression stoic, an odd-looking sight on the usually happy Captain, "Haven't you realized?"

"He- Hng?" asked Zoro again, stopping entirely. His earring jangled at the sudden motion, but he ignored it all. His focus was on Luffy.

"He. Likes. You," confirmed Luffy boldly, "A lot. He didn't leave you alone at all when you were unconscious! Trust me! All you have to do is tell him you love him! And as your Captain, I command you tell my cook that you love him so that you're happy."

Zoro stared at Luffy, and then he grinned. If any other captain had tried that shit on him, he'd have let Kitetsu slam down on their throats, satisfying his and the sword's inner lust for blood. With Luffy, however, it was different. Probably because Luffy was no ordinary Captain. And besides, if Luffy said it was true, he was probably right. He saw things in a way no one else did, and whenever Luffy had a hunch, even a ridiculous one, things always worked out. Their crew was a prime example of that.

He considered the order, and then with a devious grin replied, "Aye aye Captain."

(Line Break)

Franky hadn't been on the ship long. Two near death experiences with these people, however, and challenging some of the strongest men on the Grandline, and he was pretty confident that he knew these guys better than he knew himself even. He was comfortable here. He liked the crew. In their own zany way, they held a sense of normality he'd never felt anywhere else. A sense of belonging. His inventions, his quirks, they were appreciated on this ship. On his ship.

It was for this reason that Franky found himself concerned over the recent abnormalities. For you see, no good ship can function without some sort of routine, even if the routine is one as disjointed as the Strawhat's routine.

It started in the morning with sunrise. Franky was an early riser. Shipyards, after all, worked all day, and Franky was not one to stray from his work. After checking the engines of the ship, running a quick look over on the mast, any damages from the day before that were results of fights between Zoro and Sanji, between reckless experiments from Luffy and Usopp, or just general damage from weather, Sanji's bell would ring, signaling breakfast was served.

After breakfast, Franky would check out whatever Usopp was inventing, before getting to work on his chores, which varied from week to week. He didn't have assigned chores like Usopp, Zoro, Luffy and now Brook. His chores were to fix the damage to the ship, which, depending on the day, could range from a minor scratch that gave the Sunny character, to a hole in the railing that was dangerous and would require repair, to build new things that Chopper or the ladies or Sanji would need for the ship.

Lunch would be served, sometimes after the chores were done, sometimes before. After lunch was further devoted to his work, designing new things for the ship, studying old designs, expanding on ideas. He liked to have at least one modification plan a day. He never used them all, but he liked to have a handy reservoir of ideas, just in case the ship took damage and he had the chance or the need to implement something new. Sometimes he worked in his and Usopp's shared lab, sometimes on the deck.

By the time he was done, he'd come upstairs and join the crew for the evening, before dinner was served and then he'd spend the night singing, laughing, playing cards, or enjoying whatever merriment the crew had in mind. On the nights he had watch, he'd stay on the deck all night, heading to the crows nest only if no one stayed up with him. On the nights he didn't, he went to bed earlier than most. After all, he was a busy man.

With his usual monotonous schedule, interruptions were a given. He never got an entire modification done because one of the kids on the ship would interrupt him that a fight was happening between Sanji and Zoro, or that Usopp had blown up something, or that Luffy had punched and-or eaten something he wasn't supposed to.

Ever since leaving thriller bark, he'd completed four full plans.

"Did I miss something?" he asked Robin that evening, trying to make head or tail of the situation, "I swear something's wrong. Zoro-bro and Sanji-bro haven't gotten into a single fight. Did something happen?"

"Haven't they?" asked Robin mysteriously, because Robin was never straight forward, and she quirked her eyebrow up, face delightfully scrunched into a thoughtful gesture, "I think they've been rather antagonistic towards the other lately. I do hope they sort it out soon. You never know when a storm may strike and catch us up in the wind and waves and choke the ship and it's passengers of all its life. But then again, maybe it's the lack of certainty that's keeping them apart. It is a mystery, isn't it? But solving the mystery is always the best part, don't you think?"

Franky paused, his cola stopped half-way to his lips as Robin continued to read. He stared wide-eyed at the dark-haired lady beside him, whose legs slipped out of her dark black dress, her hair curled into a pony-tail and a dangerous gleam in her eyes. She was smirking at him, as though she knew something he didn't. That should not have been hot, hearing about how close he was to death each day on this cursed ocean. Nor should his apparent ignorance have been exciting.

Then again, what was life without a little mystery?

"Right, yeah," he said feebly, strumming a hand through his blue hair and turning back to his drawing board.

Later that day, when Usopp asked to see his newest plan, he lied and said he hadn't made one. The sketch of black dresses and gleaming eyes on a robot remained at the bottom of his filing cabinet.

(Line break)

It was thus the following morning, when the Captain disappeared to the crows nest, that Franky found himself in the kitchen facing Sanji. He was in no way talking to the little bro because he wanted to solve the mystery for dark haired, dark eyed women with little black dresses. He was here to help his ailing bro out.

"So, Sanji-bro," said Franky dramatically, guitar in hand to serenade the answers out of Sanji, "Tell me what's got you so down!"

After a quick, very thrilling one minute song about 'downers' and 'tears' and 'frog eyes', Franky finished with a flourish and then turned to Sanji, eyes wide and expectant for answers.

"Down? I'm not down Franky...just confused..." Sanji said softly, "I have these _thoughts_, and I don't know what to do."

"Thoughts? What kind of thoughts Sanji-bro?" The cyborg questioned, placing his guitar on the table. He noticed the change in the cook's face. Sanji sat down at the kitchen table and lit a cigarette.

"Franky, I've been thinking...what can I do to make _someone_ notice me in a different way...no that sounds idiotic..." The blonde began then took a long drag of his cigarette, "I- uh forget it..." _I don't know what to do..._ Sanji laid his head on his arm after finishing off his cigarette, and ran his fingers through his silky golden hair.

"Are you sure? Whatever it is, it seems like its bothering you a lot Sanji-bro..."

"It is bothering me, but I- I don't know how to say it..."

"Just say it!" Came Franky's eager reply as he flung his arms wide, "We're bros! I'm here for ya!"

Sanji gave Franky a glance over in his flowery shirt, with bright green speedo bottoms. He was sort of ridiculous. Shifting nervously, Sanji lit up his cigarette, and abandoned the strange golden fish he'd been investigating to sit down at the dining room table.

"Are you-er- When you- think about someone as- er- a Nakama- do you tell them that you think about them? As Nakama?" asked Sanji nervously, "Y'know, because you care- as a nakama!"

"Is this about Luffy and Zoro bros nearly dying? I get it little bro! It was kind of scary, and with the way our journey is, anything can happen!" Franky teared up here, and rubbed his eyes at the thought of losing a friend, "That's why if you've got something to say, someone to thank, or forgive, or just say you care, you got to tell 'em!"

"How?" blurted out Sanji, horrified. He'd never thought seriously about his mortality before. What if next time Zoro died?

"See, the best way to tell someone thank you and that you appreciate them is through a gift. Now, I usually make them something, but you should cook Zoro and Luffy bro something delicious and then get whatever's on your chest off," said Franky thoughtfully.

"Yeah...that actually sounds like a good idea. But Franky...what if the care for _someone_ is er- not just- y'know- about being nakama?" The cook said while hiding his deep blush.

"Then tell this _someone_ how you feel. I bet your bros would understand." The cyborg said with a smirk.

"How- but- How do you know?! I've never told anyone about my feelings for-" Sanji quickly stopped himself and covered his mouth.

Franky looked delighted and the sudden confession. The guitar was back in his hand, and he strummed three awful chords that made Sanji wince, and then he grinned maniacally on his square, cyborg-like face, and said, "Love!"

"I'm not in love!" lied Sanji vehemently, but Franky was ignoring him entirely.

"Love my little blonde brother, is the single most wonderful, most expressive, most beautiful thing in the world! And it should be shared by all people in the world! Oh man, can you imagine how great the food you'd make would be?! I mean, I love this crew, but the Sunny, she's my one true love, and look how fucking fantastic she is?! I channeled all the love I've had for years and years for various people into this ship. And look at it!" crowed Franky, and Sanji sat, a little stunned.

The cigarette bobbed on his lip, seesawing at the declaration as Franky began singing about love and its wonderfulness. When he was finally done, he turned to Sanji, and grinned gently as he said, "He'll be happy to hear your feelings, and he'll be good to you about it. And trust me on this Sanji-bro, it's not all on your side. And the best lovers in the world are the ones who aren't afraid to rip your balls out. There's just something intimate and passionate about that, ain't there?"

Sanji's cigarette fell from his lips, probably dead from the shock of Franky saying something intelligent, sane and entirely sweet while having his blue hair gelled in that awful look of his, wearing the epilepsy-causing-shirt of his, and a neon speedo to boot while sitting in Sanji's modest and sleek modern-style kitchen. It was surreal. Sanji himself felt faint.

Franky wasn't offended by Sanji's lack of a response. Instead, he chuckled and stood up, clapped a strong hand to Sanji's shoulder and said, "Good luck bro! And if you need lube, I got this great kind I use when jacking off that should be good for entering the back-door!"

Sanji's face turned bright red, and he tried to splutter out that it was all a misunderstanding, but Franky was out the door, guitar in hand, and singing to the high heavens a horrible song about love and lube that Sanji prayed to god nobody would ever connect to him. Ever.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: 

After the honest and heartfelt and never-to-be-repeated conversation with Franky, Sanji returned to the golden fish with the eerie white eyes, gold speckled body with green tints to the scales and blue belly, and bright, red fishy lips. He'd taken the eyes out already, and a sample of the blood had gone to Chopper for analysis. But none of Chopper's books had this fish in it, which meant Sanji was floundering on his own.

He'd spent all afternoon deboning the goddamned fish. And thinking and processing the data. Apparently, there was a connection between him and Zoro that needed investigation. A serious, heartfelt connection. And apparently Franky could tell. Which begged the question, who else could tell? And if Franky thought they'd be needing lube, then it was obviously a successful connection. Maybe he should suck it up, and let Zoro know what he was thinking. It wasn't love - unless Zoro felt the same, and then (maybe) Sanji would consider giving that option a go. Nevertheless, he really did admire the man and had the odd sexual one-off featuring Zoro's tongue wrapped around things that weren't swords and writhing in places that weren't sake bottles. So maybe there was some kind of attraction, and if he got it off his chest, he'd be able to test just how firm Zoro's grip was when it wasn't wrapped around a sword, and just how strong Sanji's own legs were to keep Zoro pinned down like a sinewy mass of muscle below his legs.

After placing the bones into the dried meats section of the pantry to be used later, and spending a quick five minutes thinking about Gekko Moria and Hogback getting it on, Sanji was able to return to his kitchen without the discomfort of desire but the slight feeling of nausea, and with every intent to finish working on the fish, and then find Zoro. He was not dragging things out. He just had a duty to the ship and damn anyone that said he was a coward.

The fish was a confusing and interesting one, and Sanji nearly salivated at experimenting with it. There was no poison sacs that were common on other fishes, and the meat, despite being an odd blue and green color, was still pretty ordinary. So he tossed it into a pan, and boiled it to test how it cooked.

Surprisingly, the fish had an amazing aroma to it as it sizzled in the pan. The smoke coming from the fish was still whitish grey, but it had a tint of green in it. Even in the boiling water and in the hot pan, the fish didn't get brown like other meats. Eventually, it had a nice golden but slightly green color to its skin as it finished cooking. During the cooking process, Sanji threw in some spices and vegetables to cook perfectly along with the fish.

Now that the fish was finished, the cook cut himself a piece of it for taste. This strange fish had a delightfully exquisite taste despite its crude looking raw form. There was a sweetness to it, like honey, but with the blend of the light peppery spices it was scrumptious. After swallowing the piece he was chewing, the blonde noticed the fish's color change into the color of a normal cooked fish.

"What a weird fish..." Sanji muttered to himself as he lit up a cigarette. He started making a variety of fruit salads and regular salads along with some extra meat for the rubber captain. As he cooked, he couldn't help but sneak a few more slices of the fish, savoring its flavor. After losing its original golden color to the flaky white, the flavor seemed less intense. Well, at least the fish wasn't bitter.

After the table was set for lunch, Sanji began slicing the fish into portions for everyone when a certain thought suddenly appeared into his head that reminded him of his dreams. The cook was imagining being in held _his_ arms, kissing those perfect kissable lips, those perfect lips kissing his entire body, and _his_ mouth going to the most sacred areas to violate them sexually. He felt his collar growing tight, and he gasped at the thought of those dark eyes roving over him, that hand gripping him tight, whispering darkly into his ear as he offered to go lower-

Sanji cut off his own thoughts by slamming his head against the table and sighing loudly. _Shitty thoughts...! Stop distracting me...he probably doesn't even think of me anyway..._

"Oi! Time to eat!" The blonde shouted onto the deck of the Sunny-Go. He walked back into the galley before being trampled by a hungry Luffy. Sanji stood by the stove quietly in silence. That feeling of warmth was still spreading through his body, burning his skin. He didn't even swoon over Nami and Robin like he usually does, which was strange to everyone else.

"Is something wrong with Sanji-kun?" Nami whispered to Robin. Robin just shrugged her shoulders with a smirk like she knew something.

"Don't worry Nami-sis, Sanji-bro will be just suuuuper!" Franky replied in his usual stance with his huge arms pointed towards the sky. The navigator just sighed at his usual antics, and took her usual seat at the table. Brook and Chopper took their seats followed by Usopp, Luffy, Robin, and Franky.

"Where's Zoro? He's going to miss lunch..." Chopper asked, concerned about the swordsman.

"Probably training," said Sanji, gritting his teeth as he started sweating. Promptly he lit a cigarette, trying to take the edge off, "Usopp, serve the fucking food."

The long-nosed sniper jumped to attention, and by now Sanji was pretty aware that he was being stared at by the crew, his back to them, and probably sounding weird. His voice was cracking in ways it hadn't since he was just a blonde-haired brat. His body was so damn hot. He loosened the collar, trying to flush the heat out as he tried to think.

"Sanji-kun?" asked Nami, looking concerned as the blonde gripped the counter.

Usopp had stopped half-way between the kitchen counter and dining table, trying to make a decision, before he changed direction and approached Sanji cautiously.

The sight he got was not pretty. Sanji was sweating profusely, his face flushed red and his cigarette trembling in his mouth. Sanji wasn't even inhaling the tobacco like he did, but looked like he was struggling to stand.

"Sanji!" gasped Usopp, moving to touch Sanji.

Sanji nearly kicked Usopp when he slapped a hand to Sanji's forehead, hollering, "Chopper- he's sick!"

The worst part about Usopp's hand was the things it did to Sanji's mind. The images that had once been of Zoro, of his touch, his fingers, the lingering caresses, the feeling of his skin- all of that changed. His eyes began to dilate, the pupil a fraction larger, absorbing the blue of his eyes, as he nearly let out a whimper. Be as it may, the images of Usopp in his mind were awful and awkward and so _hot_ and this was so wrong because Usopp was like a brother-

They were coming fast and hard. Usopp's body was now over Sanji, fumbling slightly as he pressed soft and nervous kisses to Sanji's neck and his hands, normally used to draw fine things, or aim his strange projectiles at the incoming enemies, were now sniping out the places on Sanji's hips, teasing them, placing light scratches because the asshole never clipped his bloody nails-

God that was sick. Sanji really did kick Usopp away as he stumbled backwards, trying to think of anything- anything at all but Usopp. He couldn't handle this. He wasn't supposed to be aroused by Usopp. He was a freakin' kid for crying out loud!

"Sanji!" Chopper shouted with worry as he transformed into his humanoid form. He rushed over to help the cook despite the resistance shown by the man.

"I-I'm fine Chopper...I just need to sleep it off." Sanji barely managed to say as his breathing sped up causing him to take shortened breaths while making it difficult to breathe. He needed to get out of here before Chopper touched him. It was one thing to think like that about Usopp, but Chopper-

It was too late. Chopper had taken the cigarette away from the blonde, and was carrying him into the infirmary. However, something in Sanji's mind was able to translate Chopper's touch to something else. It wasn't arousing, just pleasant. He instinctively felt better at that, safer.

"I need to run some tests!" said Chopper immediately, thermometer stuck down Sanji's throat as he tucked him into the bed. "Tell me everything you're feeling and when these symptoms began."

Gloves were snapped onto Chopper's hand as Sanji began rambling. He was able to think somewhat clearer as he panicked and said, "Hot- e'rywhere Cho'er. So hot. Need this blank't off. And water."

A glass of water was produced by a floating hand. Robin was here. Sanji instantly felt embarrassment at being seen in such a state by Robin-chan. His precious Robin-chan was seeing him at his weakest. He wanted to moan pitifully and hide in the blanket. When his hand brushed Robin's animated false one, he felt no strange lusty dreams, despite having plenty of cannon-fodder in his mind ready in case she triggered something.

"What else?" asked Chopper, as his gloved hand began to run over Sanji's neck and ears, snapping his mouth open and swabbing in there with a cotton-tipped little stick.

"Si- F'sh- don't!" said Sanji, his eyes wide as he made the connection.

"Done," said Robin, looking to the direction of the kitchen, "Franky's going to bin it as we speak. Nobody ate anything. They're all waiting outside so it's only cook-kun whose ill doctor-san."

"Robin, can you listen to Sanji's symptoms while I gather the blood analysis of the fish? I want to reread it for anything I may have missed! And tell Franky not to throw it all away!" said Chopper sternly.

They switched places, Chopper bustling off in the small infirmary as Robin came over, wet cloth in hand and pressed to his forehead, gentle and warm like a mother might. It made Sanji groan in relief, feeling the water gently press to his skin.

"Cook-kun," said Robin softly, distantly and dreamily all at once, "Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

"S'hot," said Sanji mournfully, "Wan' touch. Not Usopp- Z'ro. Z'ro's okay, he's sex- sex- he's 'ice. 'Opp's jus' a kid. Like a l'il bro'er. It was bad R'in- I don' wan' 'opp like that."

"You began to think sexual thoughts about Usopp when he touched you?" asked Robin, and Sanji gave a pitiful whimper as he nodded, and emphatically added on, "Wan' more. Wan' 'opp or Z'ro but not 'opp."

"Are you experiencing any symptoms of arousal?" asked Robin gently, brushing his head back, "And you don't feel this with me or Chopper?"

"No," said Sanji weakly, cozying under the white sheet of the bed, "And yesh. O'er way. Feel 'ard but no 'cause Cho'er or you."

"Okay," said Robin gently, "That's good."

She turned to hear someone else enter, presumably Chopper, and Sanji heard them talking but it was all so distant. Then Chopper was hovering over him and muttering something about sedation but all Sanji thought about as he looked at Chopper's eyes was how hot he was. And then it went black.

(Line break)

The results the reindeer doctor received were definitely shocking. Despite sedating Sanji, his body was still reacting to physical stimuli. After doing some tests by comparing what happened as Sanji was touched by each member of the crew on his hand, Chopper had managed to gather most of his data. It was confirmed, however, after giving Sanji a quick rectal exam and then Chopper had to compare it to several of Robin's history books just to be sure. By the time Robin and Chopper came out of the infirmary, Chopper had mostly gotten through his shock.

He stepped out of the infirmary to see the others, now with Zoro, sitting outside the infirmary with concerned looks on their faces of varying degrees. Usopp, Luffy, Nami and Franky were nearly hysterical, Franky already crying. Brook had a very impassive look on his face, and it was almost haunted. Chopper wondered if he was thinking of his old crew, and indeed, by the aged, elderly expression on his face, it wasn't hard to imagine he was. Zoro was mostly impassive, but the hand that kept stroking his swords suggested he was just waiting for Chopper to tell him what had caused Sanji's state so he could cut it into pieces.

"What's wrong with Sanji?!" Luffy asked impatiently. Chopper sighed and began tapping his forehead gently as if he was trying to figure out what to say.

"I don't know how to explain this...but the good news is that Sanji isn't sick. It's something else," the doctor began to explain, nervousness, "it seems Sanji mysteriously became heated...like an- an animal might, during their- breeding season." Luffy, Usopp, and Zoro had no idea what Chopper was talking about, but the others did, judging from their varying expressions.

"So you're saying that the only way for Sanji to get well is for him to have sex?" Nami questioned, to make sure they were talking about the same thing, her brown eyes nearly falling out of her head at such an explanation. Chopper shook his head, and opened his mouth to explain something else.

"How could- Wait- What the fuck?!" asked Zoro, looking stunned.

"I don't know," said Chopper mournfully, "Something about the fish he ate shifted his biology. Robin's searching her archives for more of an explanation. For now though, we're looking into a way to combat the fish's aphrodisiac. Until then though, I've kept him sedated."

"And if there isn't a way?" asked Brook ominously, his empty eyes haunted by ghosts past.

"From what we were able to determine, there's stages," said Chopper uneasily, "The first six hours, which is what we're approaching is the 'hot stage' where any male he touches, bar any devil fruit interference causes arousal. That's why when Zoro and Usopp touched him he started to whine. They're the only real human males on this ship without devil fruit interference or the metal between their skin and his."

"What's the next stage?" asked Usopp, serious and quiet, though looking a little uneasy as Zoro glared murderously at the ground.

"The research books were sort of vague," said Chopper, looking ready to burst into tears, "But the next stage is called the 'rutting stage'."

"Oh god," said Nami, looking ill, "You don't mean-

"He won't even remember it," said Chopper quickly, "But I'll have to tie him down so he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else."

"Wait- What?" asked Luffy impatiently.

"It means he'll be trying to- trying to-

"He'll be attacking either Long-nose-kun or Swordsman-san or anything really to try and achieve sexual satisfaction," said Robin, appearing from the infirmary, looking tired and with ink smudging her fingers, "And that stage lasts anywhere from twelve hours to twelve days depending on the sources."

Everybody stared at her, open-mouthed and horrified. Franky finally asked, almost quietly for the big man, "He'll have to be tied down for twelve days?"

"Possibly," said Robin with a grimace, "And it won't be an easy twelve days. He'll be in pain for some of it, and we'll have to concentrate on keeping him hydrated and fed while he's in that pain."

"Why would he-

"He won't achieve any satisfaction," said Robin heavily, cutting Usopp off, "For twelve days or hours, depending on who wrote the right book and whether or not they were talking about the same fish."

All the men in the room winced at that, automatically crossing their legs or gasping in horror. Nami straightened her back as she said, "Isn't there- things- that er- helps with that? We can't have him suffering for days or even hours. It's inhumane!"

"There are," agreed Robin, looking blase as she said, "But it'll be hollow. He needs penetration for his body to accept that he's er, with a partner- that's fertile."

"Is that the only cure than? The cook either gets fucked or gets tortured?" asked Zoro harshly.

"The documentation is vague," said Robin with a sigh, "I can't seem to pinpoint any cures. Most fishermen who caught a fish like this would sell its meat and blood for aphrodisiac and conception purposes. It was a lucky fish for many, bringing them children when they could have none. Or conversely used to torture men and women alike to beg for death."

"That's sick," said Nami, pale and staring at Sanji's door with pity, "That's awful and sick and I don't want to hear Sanji like that! What can we do to help him?"

"I have a few books to go through," said Robin easily, "It's unlikely they'll yield anything more than what we have, but-

"I'll do it then," said Zoro, back straight as everyone turned to stare at him.

"Do what?" asked Usopp, confused as Franky narrowed his eyes.

"Fuck him," said Zoro bluntly.

"No," said Franky, standing up and staring at Zoro firmly, "You can't do that! Sanji bro's not in a condition to say yes or no. It won't be right!"

"He'll be in pain!" argued Zoro, "It's better this way!"

"No!" argued Franky, "Sanji wouldn't want us making that choice for him!"

"It makes sense!" argued Zoro angrily, "I'm the only person besides Usopp on this ship who could help him, and Usopp's not going to do it!"

"That doesn't matter! This isn't life or death! We can find another way!" argued Franky.

"I agree with Franky on this," said Nami firmly, "You can't just- do that with Sanji! He's been drugged!"

"But what if he dies?!" asked Chopper, looking vaguely disturbed and small as he finally spoke up, "The book Robin showed me had pictures of men who killed themselves because of this!"

"I agree with doctor-san," said Robin uneasily, slinking into a chair, looking fairly exhausted with the idea, and troubled too, "It's not the most _moral_ situation, but, with no cure, I think this is the better option. Cook-kun would understand that it was for his survival."

"Robin!" said Franky, looking aghast, "That's- That's not- It's not right! Sex is about love! I can't let Sanji-bro just be- be- violated like that!"

"I care for the cook!" argued Zoro, crossing his arms stubbornly.

"But do you love him?!" demanded Franky, arms crossed as well.

Zoro's jaw tightened as the crew stared at him with interest. In the drafty air outside the infirmary was not where Zoro wanted to have this conversation. The low light of the bulbs in the hall flickered along the uneasy faces of the crew, Usopp looking fairly disgusted at the idea, whether it be love or the violation of Sanji, Zoro was uncertain. Luffy was stoic and blank, which was terrifying on its own. He didn't bother looking at other faces, Luffy's blankness was enough. He had to say something, but it was one thing to admit that he was interested physically in Sanji, as he was positive he was, and it was another thing entirely to admit that to the entire crew. He'd made that pretty obvious by offering himself up. Now they wanted him to admit he loved the cook to everyone on the ship? Zoro scowled furiously.

"You do, don't you?" asked Luffy, innocent and eager, eyes wide and hopeful, "You said so just this morning."

"He did?" asked Nami, surprised as she stared at Zoro with gleaming interest, probably counting beri for what she'd do with that information.

"I do," said Zoro firmly, and then let his gaze slip to the door, "So can I help him?"

"It's still not right," said Franky stubbornly, "Sanji- He wouldn't want things to start between you two like this!"

"And you think I do?" asked Zoro, annoyed, "I'd rather not have this discussion with the entire damn crew before things happened!"

"Does Sanji love Zoro?" asked Brook with interest.

Everyone went silent, until Franky gave a small, tight nod. Zoro's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected that. They all went silent, and then Brook nodded as he clapped his hand as he said, "Well then, they'll get through this if they both love each other enough. But right now, it's plain to see that this is the easiest option to get our cook back to health! And I don't even have eyes! Yohoho! Skull joke!"

"Captain-san?" asked Robin, glancing to Luffy.

"If Zoro thinks he and Sanji will be able to get through this," said Luffy, meeting Zoro's eyes, "Then okay."

"We can," said Zoro firmly.

"Then okay," said the Captain, his arms crossed and his face stoic.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

Zoro took a deep breath before looking at his shipmates one more time.

"I'm not going to hurt him..." The swordsman said in a firm, but caring tone, before walking into the infirmary and shutting the door behind him. The others decided to sit on the deck, not wanting to be the door when the moss head began to _cure the cook_. Zoro slowly walked up to the bed where the man he loved slept. It was obvious the cook was in pain despite the sedation.

The swordsman leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Sanji's forehead.

"I won't hurt you...I promise. And I-I hope you won't hate me after this." He whispered.

_I need to prepare him so it doesn't hurt too badly, _Zoro thought to himself. He turned his head so he could kiss the blonde's neck, soft and faint, just a taste, to reassure himself more than for Sanji's sake. The cook smelled so good; like the acrid cigarette smoke, blended with the sharp scent of spices and faint tang of sweat from his arousal. It was a heady combination. His skin was soft. He was, after all, the only man Zoro knew who kept a body-cream. And it tasted sinful, like the smoke and sweet milky cream that he used, mixed with slight sweat.

Sanji shivered below him at the feather-light touches, as Zoro continued to press soft kisses to that neck, worshipping it. To the cook, it was slightly wetter than in his fantasies, which had really not focused on the feel but rather on the act of it all, the dirtiness and gentleness that Zoro would be.

Zoro's tongue was rougher than Sanji's dreams had made it out, and it sent a stark signal down to his brain, making him shiver in delight... The heat from earlier, like an inferno threatening to swallow him whole, felt less painful, less choking, and he groaned at the coolness spreading through his body. It was gentle, still arousing, but filled with a sense of love. His eyes fluttered open, seeing the green head. Was this a new, highly erotic dream?

If it was, he'd gladly take it. The relief was too much to ignore.

His hand moved to Zoro's shoulder. The skin below his fingers was rough, slightly prickly with small faint hairs, and riddled with scars. Sanji thumbed over a small, white cut in the flesh, feeling the rough, but muscled skin. This was new. He'd never pictured Zoro scarred. It was so much more erotic, realistic, tempting.

Highly erotic dream indeed.

The green-haired swordsman looked up at Sanji, eyes lidded and pupils blown wide, flushed, and he groaned at the sight. Sanji tugged at his green hair, and despite it being short and coarse, it was such a turn-on that Sanji groaned at that, a low delicious growl that spurred Zoro's libido onwards, combined with the short tugs on his scalp. The swordsman let his head be maneuvered onto his ship-mate's mouth.

Their first kiss was hardly how either had imagined. It wasn't awkward and gentle, or hot and passionate and filled with talent. It was slow, painfully so, as Sanji's tongue moved sloppily, unable to really focus and Zoro tried to be gentle, mindful of the cook's illness. The taste of smoke and honey filled Zoro's mouth, where Sanji got the taste of steel and sake, letting him know that Zoro had trained recently.

Their tongues mashed together like ships and the sea, sloppily working against something they couldn't understand. Alien to their natural state. Zoro let go first, and Sanji stared at him, letting out a pitiful sound, and then bringing his hand to Zoro's ear, tugging on his earrings. Zoro hissed at the sharpness of Sanji's nails, and the bite of the earrings as they dug into his flesh, and moved, ducking his lips into the blonde's lean neck, sucking gently on the skin with his teeth. Sanji yelped, his legs wrapping around Zoro's waist, gripping him and squeezing his hips.

It wasn't pretty or neat. Their groins collided more often by accident than on purpose, teasing the both of them, and once making both wince as they collided clumsily in a manner that failed to arouse, as Sanji tried to get his hands under Zoro's shirt to feel the rough, scar-riddled skin while Zoro unbuttoned Sanji's shirt at the same time.

Things grew quickly frantic as Sanji whined again, letting out that high-pitched keening sound that made Zoro feel himself harden despite the awkwardness of the situation. It was still not right, not the way either man had dreamed of. It was too rushed, frantic and desperate to be the gentle, teasing love-making either had pictured. This was raw, animalistic, and filled with need and lust.

Lips were leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down Sanji's body, saliva decorating his skin, as the chef's shirt slid off and fell beside the bedside. Teeth teased the skin from his neck to his abdomen, nipping lightly at Sanji's body, not enough to mark, but enough to leave a little sting.

Sanji's knee slid up between Zoro's legs, rotating slowly and gently and Zoro groaned at the feeling. The eroticness of Sanji's main weapons being anywhere near his groin was irresistible, and judging from the blonde's appreciative smirk, he knew just how hard Zoro was. Zoro growled, and pinched at Sanji's nipples, which were already hard pink rose-buds, earning a yowl from his partner.

"Z'ro!" he groaned, his hand gripping the blanket and bringing it up to his lips, forcefully silencing himself.

"No," said Zoro, his voice darker and richer than he'd intended, like the steel of his swords, hoarser too then his regular tone, "I want to hear you."

Sanji let go of the sheet, panting, but giving a slight nod. His eyes were still glassy, but Zoro liked to think of it as being a look of lust for him, just him. No weird fish interfering with them. No weird other things. It was just him and Sanji. He felt his muscles relax at the thought, and his performance anxiety fading. It was just him and Sanji.

Sanji, who was dragging Zoro's hair and pulling him to his face again.

Groaning, Zoro lifted his head and nipped at Sanji's lower lip, bringing it between his, and Sanji growled, literally growled before using his legs to flip them over. Zoro grinned, feeling the familiarness of the cook, the real, not this drugged version coming back. Sanji grinned down at him, and their tongues roved each other's mouth.

Zoro lifted his hands to caress Sanji's round ass, and the cook yelped. It was interesting, the amount of noises Sanji made when he was aroused. His hands roved over his hips, his ass, his thighs, feeling every inch of muscle, hard and dangerous below his hands. Sanji stubbornly tugged at his shirt, and Zoro quickly sat up, causing the blonde to fall backwards with a thump on Zoro's legs. Zoro ignored the opportune moment to tease the cook, as he shed his own shirt and let it fall to the ground. Pushing Sanji back down, the blonde panting whenever their skin touched, be it by accident or on purpose. The combination of rough and mottled over smooth and mottled was interesting. _Exciting._

He could do this forever.

Zoro stared down at Sanji's chest. It was by no means as scarred as he was, but after the Grand Line, there wasn't a single person on the crew who had escaped without scars. His scars were a mixture of pink, raw and healing, to white and faded on whiter skin. Zoro let his tongue drop over each, licking them, and Sanji gasped, arching below him.

His tongue arched between Sanji's fingers, wrapping around them and leaving a heavy amount of wetness behind him, flicking and teasing like the waves nipped at the Sunny. He tasted those delicate white hands that were slightly sweaty, layered in spice and tobacco tasting the scars that had accumulated from years in the kitchen, nicking himself as he learned the art of the knife. Sanji's hands were heavily calloused, and the most flavorful part of his body. His tongue felt like it was licking away at parts of Sanji's soul in those hands.

Zoro shifted, and unbuckled Sanji's belt, fumbling with the suddenly cool metal clasp. Sanji was quicker after Zoro managed to move the buckle, snapping the button to his pants with practiced ease and sliding out, his underwear going with it. It was intoxicating, seeing the cook lying naked, hair shining like a halo around his head, and his cock, erect and pointed upwards, a pretty deep mauve in color, veins bulging along the lean tool. His legs were hairy, hairier than the rest of the cook, but it wasn't visible until you ran a hand along those pale blonde strands that one saw that below the thick, coarse sheet of blonde hairs were more scars, and muscle too. Sanji flexed them dangerously, and Zoro shuddered in lust.

Zoro gently moved the cook's treasured weapons he called legs, and placed them over his shoulders. He watched as Sanji stared at him, eyes blown, before letting his tongue wrap around that cock, lovingly caressing the head. It was hard like the cook's muscled legs, and smelled musky and bitter, no artificial scents. And the taste, it was a heady combination of something like thick sweat, something musky and something faintly, very faintly, like soap and gods was it arousing. Zoro could suck on Sanji's cock all night, listening to his keening sounds, delighting in the fact that it was he who was doing this. That Sanji wanted_ him_.

The thick curly blonde patch of hair that framed his cock was trimmed short, and Zoro teased the area with his fingers, gently memorizing the touch. Sanji's hips snapped automatically, as he exhaled sharply. The thighs around Zoro's head flexed dangerously, and if Zoro was anyone else, he may have flinched. Be as it was, the reaction only spurred him on, and he let his tongue press into the slit of Sanji's leaking cock, teasing him as he tasted the heat, delighting in the sounds echoing in his ears. Sanji cried out an incoherent muttering of Zoro's name, and dug his heels into Zoro's back, demanding more.

Zoro was more than willing to comply. He let his cheeks loosen as he slid his lips over Sanji's manhood, and then sharply sucked inwards, and delighted at the broken cry of his name. Despite the control it seemed Zoro had, Sanji was directing this part of the show. If Zoro slowed down too much, Sanji would dig sharply into his spine, threatening him and the pain shook through his body, little spasms and jolts and a bruise beginning to form on his spine. His fingers slipped lower, teasing just below Sanji's balls. The sounds the blonde was making were delicious, and sent messages straight to Zoro's own dick, jerking it without a touch.

"C- Cumming!" gasped Sanji, his entire back arching, forcing Zoro to hold Sanji's hips down to avoid being choked.

But despite the movement and claim, there was no shot of sperm, no limpness, no sign that his arousal diminished. Sanji gasped, squirming and confused. Zoro groaned as he remembered the last warning Robin gave him. There would be no orgasm for the cook until or unless Zoro came _inside_ of him.

"Hugh?" murmured the cook, starting to look panicked.

Determined, Zoro eased the pressure of Sanji's cock, wincing as the cook impatiently flexed his legs, trying and failing to get Zoro to continue sucking him off, trying to achieve an orgasm that would never come.

In the long run, sucking him off would only further over-stimulate the blonde. His hot, moist tongue glided across Sanji's perineum, and Sanji's cry returned, his legs going limp as Zoro wet the sensitive skin, and around the blonde's puckered entrance. It swirled around slowly before being slid inside the heated limp form. Zoro never would had expected Sanji to taste good. It wasn't like shit, but rather, a hot, wooden taste.

_Oh shit...I barely did anything, and I already want to- ugh I have to finish or he'll get too impatient._

The swordsman placed two of his fingers into his mouth, and he began to coat them thoroughly with saliva. Sanji was watching him, unafraid, but eyes so dark that Zoro groaned. He rushed the process, and once his fingers were out of his mouth and fully covered with saliva, he slowly slid one of his fingers into Sanji's entrance. Sanji tensed, and then relaxed, wailing as Zoro began to move his finger in and out slowly. Zoro, for his part, was amazed at the tightness, the hot heat wrapping around his finger and flexing as dangerously as the legs, threatening to snap Zoro's finger off. Zoro was quick to add his other finger when Sanji's leg kicked down on his back, getting tired of the tease.

He began to scissor and stretch the cook's tight hole for a few minutes, reflecting on the tightness. He wondered if Sanji was a virgin, or if someone else had seen the cook like this, and he glowered at the idea. His teeth bit into Sanji's thighs, sucking until a dark, dangerous bruise formed, claiming the other man. Nobody was allowed to see the blonde like this, see him vulnerable and aroused. No man or woman or anything. Just him.

Slowly, Zoro removed his fingers. Sanji let out a soft whimper from the loss of fingers, and Zoro's face lit up brightly. The cook wanted him. _He could also have wanted Usopp_._ It's not really him. _

Zoro shook his head, letting those thoughts fade, before grabbing some massage oil Chopper kept in the infirmary in case anyone had muscle sores. He opened the bottle, and coated his fingers, slipping them back into Sanji's body, loosening him up more and more, making him wet and ready for Zoro's entry. The oil smelled strange, like something herby and sweet, and Zoro snickered as he said, "You're ass smells like a rosebush."

"Fuck you," slurred Sanji, "And hurry up and fuck me."

The two stared at each other, and then burst into giggles, that made their chest squeeze tightly like rope around their hearts, and Zoro leaned upwards, following the tug of the chain, and then wrapping Sanji into a warm kiss. As they kissed, Sanji's hands took one of his and squeezed, the other taking the oil from his hand and sloppily poured it on Zoro's stomach, thighs and cock, and over his pants.

"Fuck! Let me get out of these, and don't waste that!" ordered Zoro, getting off of Sanji and shedding his now slicked up pants as Sanji held the bottle, raising that curly eyebrow and pouting.

When he came back up, Sanji slicked the oil back down on his cock, and Zoro grabbed the bottle. Sanji gave a grin as he said, "Your cock smells like a rosebush."

Zoro melted, and he grinned, as Sanji laughed at the dumb joke. They were kissing again, tongues sloppily moving against each other, and Sanji's hand gripped Zoro's cock, and Zoro groaned, his eyes dilating farther than they had. Sanji watched with interest as he slowly tugged on Zoro's cock, slicking it with oil, as the swordsman came undone.

His muscles had all tensed, but not in his fighting or stoic stance, but rather with nerves and arousal. His breath was coming in shorter pants, his mouth was open and hanging as Sanji stroked. Idly the blonde wondered what Zoro would really look like, would he be so expressive, would his breaths be so harsh and short, or would he groan, low full moans into Sanji's ears. He wondered what dream-Zoro would be like if he sucked on his cock, watching the man come undone as he used his tongue.

But there was no time for that, as Zoro moved Sanji's hand away, his thick cock pulsing now, red and swollen and Sanji gulped, wondering what it would feel like inside him. It was much larger than Zoro's thick fingers, after all. No fantasy ever got this far.

Zoro took his cock, and lined it up with Sanji's slick hole, and the two met each other's eyes, blue and brown. Sanji took Zoro's hand, and kissed each finger, letting Zoro know it was okay. Zoro felt a rush of guilt. He had no idea what the cook was thinking, if this was really him, and if he was really interested in Zoro or just in scratching that itch.

"Dammit," said Zoro, pressing his head to Sanji's shoulder, "I- It's not fair."

"Whassamatter?" slurred the cook, and Zoro resisted the urge to punch something.

"I love you," he said, turning his head to face the cook, and Sanji sucked in a breath, looking surprised and excited.

"Never dreamt that before," he muttered, and looked away, embarrassed.

Zoro felt his heart shatter. The cook _was_ into him, but he thought this was all a dream. That he was having some kind of porny_ fantasy_ and it pissed him off because this wasn't _fair._

"It's not a dream," said Zoro harshly, "This is real, this is really happening. Tell me to stop and I will. I'll leave and tie you to the bed and find a different cure. But I'm not doing this without you."

Sanji stared, uncertain what dream-Zoro was saying. Not a dream? _Need him. _What? _Fuck me. _Why was this happening? _Because he needed Zoro's cock and he wanted to be fucked. Needed to cum. _Wasn't it moving too fast? _Not fast enough_. But his cock was pulsing and Sanji's thoughts were broken and stuttered. He couldn't make the decision. He just needed to cum.

"Sanji?" asked Zoro, and that was the first time Zoro had ever used his name.

"Please," said Sanji, "Please don't go! Need- _please_."

Zoro stared at him, scrutinizing him like Chopper did every new fish that Sanji wanted to cook. Finally Zoro nodded, and took a deep breath.

The swordsman slowly and carefully lined his cock with the crack of Sanji's ass, letting his head brush against the soft skin, caressing it, and biting his lower lip at the heat. Slowly, he pushed into the tight ring of muscle belonging to his hopefully soon-to-be lover. Sanji whimpered, clutching tightly to Zoro's arms as he felt the muscle being forced to spread. Zoro paused at the pained expression, and pulled out.

"Turn over," said Zoro gently, "It hurts less that way."

"No, want- want to see you," said Sanji stubbornly, pushing his bottom up against Zoro.

Zoro swallowed heavily, and then nodded. He placed his forehead to Sanji's, and they tightened their hands in each other's as Zoro pushed in. Sanji squeezed his eyes shut, while letting out a soft moan as Zoro breached him. When Zoro finally bottomed out into Sanji, he groaned at the feeling. It was wet, tight and slick, squeezing back and forth, the cavern of Sanji's body acting like a vice as it winked around his cock. Zoro could cum from that alone. Sanji was breathing heavily, his skin was glistening and then he finally opened his eyes.

The marimo took that as a sign to continue, and he began to thrust gently and slowly, just rocking against the hot walls. Sanji breathed heavily, beginning to moan at the sensation. The initial hot shock of pain was fading, and all he felt was a rhythmic thrusting, and Zoro's breath by his ear, holding him close. He began to lift his hips, thrusting against Zoro, who groaned out in response.

Their thrusts began to pick up speed, while getting harder and harder. The slickness provided just enough friction that it didn't hurt. The normally silent swordsman's baritone voice was now groaning and grunting as he pounded the cook's rear end, only added onto the pleasure and arousal Sanji was feeling.

"You're beautiful," said Sanji, staring up at the man, who looked so undone above him, as they rocked together. Sanji had to squeeze more than thrust, but it was worth it to see Zoro like this, to see him. His dark eyes were pure black, and his mouth was open, panting. Sanji brought his hand to caress his cheek, brushing lightly against the earrings that rocked with each thrust. The smell of steel and sake enveloped his nostrils, sweat intermingling with it all, and the herbed oil. It was a strange, magical combination.

Zoro felt Sanji's cock rubbing against his torso, and the cook looked so intoxicating, with the blue slivers around his eyes, the flush to his pale skin, the loose, undone blonde hair. The scent of the cook, that expensive body lotion, the herbs and spices and musk overpowering anything artificial and fake. He could practically taste the arousal in the air. Zoro wanted Sanji to feel this more, to see the blonde come loose in pleasure, so he began to pump the cook's erect in the same rhythm as his thrusts. Sanji gasped at the dual sensation, and it took just two strokes and he was coming. With one final thrust, Zoro emptied himself inside the other man.

Both were staring at each other, eyes wide and watchful as Sanji stared up at Zoro, whose face was slack, his eyes boring into Sanji like a telescope, focused on his body. For Zoro, it was the arch in Sanji's back, the wailing sound and that beautiful glow that came to the man. After carefully pulling out, the swordsman grabbed some tissues to clean up the dribbles of cum that leaked out of the blonde onto his chest. Sanji had fallen asleep.

Zoro was too tired to do much of anything else, quickly got rid of the stained tissues. He made sure to bury them in Chopper's trash, but then, Chopper would probably be able to smell the herby oil mixed with the bitter scent of cum. Zoro moved Sanji's body gently to make him comfortable, before sliding in beside him.

He'd deal with the aftermath in the morning.


End file.
